Knitting, My Nana, and Contentment

During the cooler months I really enjoy knitting.  There is something cozy about knitting... it just feels like a fall/winter/early spring thing to me.  My knitting always seems to drop off as the weather warms.

My Nana taught me to knit.  I was about eight.  She was knitting and I wanted to learn.  We were at our family camp in Ontario; no roads, no electricity, no running water, no phone, and you bring in all of your food, supplies, etc with you when you fly in via seaplane.  It is a one room log cabin, and no, the bathroom is not included in that one room... there is an outhouse about 30 feet from the cabin.  The island is probably my favorite place in the world.

Our family camp in Canada

Back to our story... After gathering two sticks, she whittled a point on the end of each.  She wound a little ball of yarn up for me, and my Nana taught me to knit.  I can't remember the color of the yarn, or if I even made anything, but I do remember thinking how cool it was that she made the knitting needles, out of nothing, and she was going to teach me to do something that she did.  The experience has always stuck with me, and it was a story I shared with our family at her funeral last November.

My Nana

I am an OK knitter.  I am getting much better the more I work at it... just like everything else in life, we get better when we work at it. Fancy stitches are super challenging for me; I can't seem to remember to count, and loose my place (honestly, I have a hard time focusing for that long, but I hate admitting it).

I think one of the cornerstones of a happy life is being happy where you are, and with what you have.  Being Content.  Knitting is like that for me... often I would rather be at the pottery studio, or in our glass studio, or upstairs creating jewelry pieces, like I did B.K. (before Kid)... however, those things don't fit so easily into my life right now, but knitting does.  I can bring my knitting outside and watch The Kid play.  He gets his own little balls of yarn that he throws around, and for a little bit of time, I am able to create... something.  It may not be what I most want to create, but I am thankful for the moment.  I am content in that moment, and what I am doing, instead of focusing on what I wish I was doing.

Knitting also reminds me of my Nana... which is lovely.

My Popop, Me, My Nana, and The Kid

How did they do it?

How did the women before me do it?

My Nana raised three children, loved her family, and kept an immaculate beautiful clean home.  She cooked, from scratch, every single night, and had dinner on the table when my Popop got home.  She was one of the happiest people I have ever known.
My Grandmother was also able to accomplish all of her domestic duties in an efficient, artful way.
My great-grandmother, my Baba, was the same as my Nana.  Cooked, cleaned, loved her family, and was happy to do it all.

I struggle to get dinner on the table three nights a week, my house is generally a wreck.

How did they do it?
Now that I am a wife and mom, I wish that I could ask them.
Was it that they had a single focus in their lives?  Did they get married before they found themselves as individuals?  Before they realized their love of rock climbing and art?  Did they sacrifice their wants for their families?

I got married and became a mom at the older end of the spectrum.  I already had a whole life behind me: moved a bunch of times, hobbies explored and discarded, jobs explored and discarded, two bachelors and a masters degree crammed into my brain, and many years of living on my own.  Am I not focussed enough on the art of being a stay at home momma and wife?  Maybe I am scattered?

I do not sit in front of the television all day watching soap operas.  We actually don't even have a tv in our home.  Nor am I in front of the computer all day.
I don't go for the whole salon thing... no "mani/pedi" ever (even if I wanted to it, is pointless as a rock climber), and my hair is cut about once every six months.  Haven't been to the 'mall' in years, so I am not out shopping for stuff.
Why can't I get everything accomplished?  No, really... why can't I get anything accomplished?

Sigh... figuring this out is one of my New Year's Resolutions.
But it will have to wait... someone just woke up from his nap...
'Hello my little son, did you sleep well?'