Finding Balance: Weeks 26, 27 & 28: Out Of Balance

For the past three weeks I have been at the rock climbing gym twice a week.  I made progress on my projects some days, and had terrible sessions other days.  I think am out of balance. While working a problem last week, this guy gave me some beta (for non-climbers: a tip on how to do the climb, or boulder problem) on my project.  He noticed that my climbing style was all 'legs and hips'; meaning that all of my power comes from there (versus my arms and shoulders, like most guys climb).

In the past, I have always thought that my style of climbing helped me... but now I think that I am relying on it too much, and inhibiting my progression.  I wrote a post a while back about 'accentuating the positive', and I still agree that focusing on your strengths is great, but I think that I have been doing a bit too much of that lately. Ignoring your weaknesses completely isn't the best option.

My lack of upper body strength is holding me back.  Period.  There is a hang board in the middle of our family room (the dreaded hang board) and I rarely use it.  I used to go upstairs to work out after my climbing sessions at the gym... but, no, I haven't been doing that either.  This week, I was having a terrible, Jupiter Gravity day at the rock climbing gym; so I went upstairs and spent the better part of an hour working my arms, shoulders and back.

There are things in life that we have to face, and we don't want to... my climbing story is just a small example. We all (I hope I am not the only one) have things that we need to deal with; things that we don't want to deal with because they are more challenging to deal with than ignore.  I hope that facing them will actually make life easier in the long run.

This makes me think about my parenting.  I have been wanting The Kid (aka My Wonderful Son) to begin to put his toys away.  This sounds great in theory, right?  Just teach him how to clean up.  The thing is that I am not very good at cleaning up.  If you know me, this won't be a surprise:  Martha Stewart would run screaming from my home.  I am not a very good house keeper and constantly wonder how the women before me did it all?.

How can I expect my son to do something unless I do it?  I can't.  So, I am working on something that I wish I could ignore because it is hard for me... I am trying to become more organized.  Yipes.  It is easy for me to show The Kid how to climb or create 'art' or play in the garden, those are my strengths; but I need to work on my weaknesses to find some balance.

Wish me luck... send good organization vibes my way, and motivation to get on that damn hang board.

PS... while I did not get on the hangboard, John put a roof up on our climbing woody, and I played on it all Saturday afternoon.

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 17: A Glimpse Into Our Life

So, here is something a little different this week... in addition to the rock climbing updates, I am giving you a little glimpse into our lives.

This is what we did last Sunday, and in between working on the cottage and the gardens, this is fairly typical for a stay at home weekend day...

The Kid climbing on our wall at home (he is almost 21 months old)...

Since we moved into our home, nearly three years ago we have been renovating this cottage.  At one point, in it's history, it had been an apartment for someone; so there is running water and a fireplace.  When we bought the house, there were trees growing through the eves of the cottage, holes in the floor, no insulation, the running water didn't run, bad roof... basically it was a broken down shed with a garage bay.  We have slowly been restoring it, and now (while it is not completed) it is the home of our climbing wall, pottery and stained glass studio.

John climbing on our wall at home...

Me... not climbing, just being ridiculous with The Kid riding behind me.

So that is how things go down at our house.  Not everyday can be exciting... but most days can be fun.

  With all of this going on at home, I know you are asking (on the edge of your seat) "what about climbing this week?".  Well friends, I made it in to the gym three days.  The Kid and I went to Island Rock this week on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Again, this was another plateau week for me at the gym; I didn't send any new bouldering problems, and I didn't regress.  My 'rest days' of Thursday and Friday were very full of activity: mowing the lawn, building planter boxes, gardening, and replacing parts of our back deck... in other words, by Friday night when John got home I was physically exhausted.  Not surprising, when we went to the gym as a family on Saturday, I felt like I was climbing through molasses. 

Not everyday can be exciting.  You can't climb hard everyday.  Real life can be hard work.  When I go to bed every night with my family... I am happy, and grateful.

Hope you got a laugh from the videos.  I'd love to hear from you... yes, you.  Comment. Follow me.  Share my blog.  

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 16: Walking the Carriage Road and Changing Expectations

Fearless

This week started out with a bang.  I got up early on Sunday morning, and started packing while John and The Kid were still sleeping.  When they got up at 7:30, I told them they had half an hour to get ready and out the door.  At 8:09 we were on the road, driving up to the Shawangunks to boulder the carriage road.  The 'Gunks' is in New Paltz, and is the mecca for trad climbing and bouldering in New York; it is also where John and I had our first date, got engaged and got married.  This was the first weekend I would be up there climbing again, since being pregnant.

I have to admit that I don't really enjoy bouldering the Carriage road.  Truth be told, I am more of a rope climber than a boulderer.  Ironically I never (even before The Kid) get on rope at the gym, I only boulder at the rock climbing gym.  Bouldering doesn't require a partner (I have always prefered to hit the gym at odd times with less people), and it works my weaknesses.  Nonetheless I was super excited to get outside and climb, hit some of my old projects, and spend the day with John and The Kid.

While I am not sure exactly how I expected the day to go, it was probably something like this... The Kid was going to sit happily watching us climb, while he entertained himself playing with stones.  I was going to walk up to my old projects and send them (or at least one of them).  John would send everything he touched (which is what usually happens anyway).  The Kid would sleep happily in his stroller, and John could spot me on the hard boulder problems I was sure to send.  We would have huge family adventure.  Our day would be just like old times... only better, since we would be sharing it with The Kid.

On one of my old projects.
John did his best photographing...
but it is really hard to get a good shot, and watch The Kid.

We did have a great day... but it was different; different than my expectations and different than old times.  Somehow I had forgotten about the drop off along the Carriage Road (seems impossible, but I did), so I hadn't anticipated the terror that would run through my body, as The Kid ran full speed down the road.  The desire that The Kid had for a closer look of people working Buddha (demonstrated by his frequent attempts to walk under the boulderers), was also not anticipated.  His excitement overrode his need for breakfast, lunch, snacks or a timely nap; which began to erode my enthusiasm and energy.  John send every boulder problem he got on... no surprises there.  My months climbing exclusively on plastic did not translate into climbing well where it counts:  on real rock.

However, the differences in reality and my expectations also made the day wonderful... just different.  Seeing The Kid run full speed down the Carriage Road like a deer was breathtaking and beautiful.  Watching John climb is always inspiring; he always makes it look effortless, and climbs with passion.  After a long beautiful walk past Boxcar, looking at streams and seeing a snake, The Kid did fall asleep in his stroller (which honestly has only happened about three other times before ever).  During his nap, John and I got to talk to each other (without interruption) and John spotted me on some bouldering problems.  Despite my climbing not being where I had hoped, I remembered how much I love to climb on real rock, and am more motivated to get back out.

John said it best... this was our first trip upstate as a family.  We are learning what we need to do, so the day goes smoothly... and so is The Kid.  When John and I were first together, it took me hours to pack for a weekend upstate because I didn't know what to expect.  By the time we got engaged, we could be out of the door in twenty minutes.  We, as a family, are at the beginning of another learning curve.  I am starting to realize that our weekends upstate will be more about enjoying the day as a family, with some climbing... and less about only climbing.  I also have a feeling that just when we settle into this new groove, things will change... and, again, so will our expectations.

As far as the gym this week (my home gym is Island Rock on Long Island, NY), I made it in on Tuesday and Wednesday with The Kid.  Although, I didn't send any of my bouldering projects, I did start some new ones.  The important thing is that I am at the gym, getting stronger... so I can send some projects outside.

PS - The original Week 16 blog post was lost, this is a re-write.  A few hours after I posted the original, Blogpsot crashed; while it seems as though most posts were retrieved and re-posted, mine was not.  So in the event that you managed to read the original, before it disapeared, yes... this is not quite the same.

  

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 15: Pulling People Up

"In life most people want to pull you down.  When you find someone who wants to pull you up, grab onto them."  A quote from my grandfather.

A few weeks ago there were a group of us, all working the same boulder problem at the gym.  It was a good session, and everyone was climbing around the same grade.  I am not a particularly social climber; I shy away from the crowds and the competition.  I am social with people at the gym, just not so much while I am climbing; I am not one of those people who usually get motivated around other climbers.  However, on this particular day, the vibe was right and so were the climbers, so I was really motivated.

Then this guy (who works at the climbing gym) comes up, takes off his street shoes, leaves his socks on, and climbs the problem (the same boulder problem everyone was working on).  He finished, sat down in a chair fifteen feet away and watched.  I assume he thought that he was now a hero, since he was able to climb the problem (in socks) that we had all been working.

This guy was a typical 'want to pull you down' person.  He didn't climb the problem as part of his circuit, nor did he do it to show us 'secret beta'... he did it to make himself feel big, and to make everyone else feel small.  (Side note:  I have no issue when people climb your project when they are actually climbing, we all do that when a boulder problem is part of your circuit; this guy hadn't been climbing before, and didn't climb after.)

It made me think about how much 'bigger' someone really is when they pull people up.  The person who makes people feel small doesn't succeed in making himself bigger in their eyes... just the opposite.  We all view the person who pulls us up as a hero, and the ones who try to bring you down as... well, as jerks.

This also made me more aware of the opportunities that I have to 'pull people up', and it gave me a lot to think about.  I realized that I don't make an effort to pull people up as much as I should; I don't pull them down, but I also don't make the effort to pull others up... at least not enough.

Anyway, we all (John, The Kid, and I) hit the gym on Tuesday, and The Kid and I went on Friday.  My climbing was uneventful... basically it was a plateau week.  This was just fine with me, I was just happy to be climbing.

I would love to know what you think about my blog, or this post, or really anything.  Leave a comment, and let's get a conversation started!
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Getting Back to Climbing, Week 14: The Zen of Rock Climbing, Parenting and Life

The Zen of Rock Climbing
Rock climbing can be like planning a beach day. 
You plan all week, the day arrives, it rains, and you are out of luck.  It rains and there is nothing you can do about it.  You can, however, make the best of your day.  You can decide on the next best thing, and go for it... a walk in the rain, go to the climbing gym, watch a marathon of Star Wars, or look for rainbows.  You don't have control over the weather, it just happens, so why not make the best of it?

The Zen of Parenting
A child can be like the weather.
You can plan that you are going to put your kid down for a nap at ten o'clock, but if he isn't ready, it isn't happening.  You can plan that you are going out for pizza at noon, but if there is a diaper crisis that turns into a nap emergency, it isn't happening either.  With a child, sometimes this is hard; often I decide that I am going to do something fabulous, only to find out that I don't have buy in from The Kid (and I am not talking about him 'not wanting' to do something, more about the uncontrollable issues like sleep, hunger, diapers, or a fall that really hurts).  And just like the rain, there is nothing you can do about it.

The Zen of Parenting has been much easier for me to grasp, than the Zen of Rock Climbing.  When The Kid was an infant, the realization that I couldn't control the eat, sleep, diaper patterns of this little being was a relief.  While I have a rhythm and direction to our day, I also have found that letting go of rigid expectations allows me to find the joy in the unplanned, unexpected moments.

The Zen of Life
The Kid and I made it into the rock climbing gym on Wednesday, and it was an uneventful session, as far as climbing goes.  However, lately The Kid needs to check in with me a lot more.  Before the past few weeks, I had to search him out after my session, but not anymore.  He checks in with me frequently, sometimes every ten minutes, and often gets teary watching me climb.  But like the rain on my climbing plans, I can either get frustrated, or I can go with it.  It was nice to plug into my iPod for two hours and boulder without further interruptions, but it is also pretty damn wonderful that my Kid loves me and wants to check in with me.  He won't always want to do that, so I pick him up, give him smoochy kisses, chat with Brittany, and then climb some more.

The Zen of Rock Climbing and the Zen of Parenting have collided... The Zen of Life has been realized.  With everything in life, you can be miserable when things aren't going as you have planned... or you can focus on the positive and find unexpected joy in the experience.

John and I have been spending more days out on the climbing wall in the cottage, since the weather is warm; I climbed at home last Sunday and this Saturday.  (I can't get the workout that I need, not yet anyway... cement floor, not enough pads to cover the area, the holds on the roof line don't ensure that I won't blow a move and crash down to the cement... but I can still get some climbing in, especially if John is there to spot me.)

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 13: Reminiscing About Yosemite

 The first time I visited Yosemite was in 2006, when John and I went to climb...

John & Me, 2006, classic Yosemite scenic view.

From my climbing journal:

April 2006 (I didn't date the entry more than that)


Tuesday morning I am in the bathroom at camp (we camped in one of the pines campground the first year, before we started sleeping in Camp 4), and it is really freakin' cold.  The water in the bathroom faucet can only be one degree above freezing, any colder and it would freeze.  So, I am finishing washing my face, hands and teeth - when in walks this girl, about ten or eleven years old.  She is wearing this footy-type tie dye pajama get-up.  She starts to wash her hands in the near freezing water, and I ask her how she slept last night.  She said, "fine, but I have to wear my mom's shoes".


So, I look.  There she is... this tie dyed girl with these huge grey running sneakers sticking off her feet. She looked mortified; not about the tie dyed jumpsuit ensemble (which she probably chose and thought looked great), but about 'mom's' shoes (which she didn't choose).


"Well, sometimes that happens, and it is better than your socks getting filthy."  I really didn't know what else to say... maybe I should have told her that 'they were like the coolest sneaks ever, and I can't believe your mom loaned them to you'?  Yeah, that would have way been better, wish I had said that.


As I am writing this I am actually remembering how it felt to be so self-conscious that you think a stranger (a climbing dirt-bag stranger who hadn't showered in days), in a bathroom, at the crack of dawn, is noticing your shoes.




When I think about that exerience now, and how that girl felt, it makes me think about how it feels being a parent. Sometimes I feel like everyone notices every little thing about how we raise the Kid, and I feel self-conscious and insecure.  Parenting is almost like being a teenager all over again; awkward, confusing and insecure.  However, just like that teenager stage, as parents we make it to the other side... again.

This week's "getting back to climbing" update...
The Kid and I made it to the rock climbing gym twice this week, Monday and Wednesday.  Monday was a Jupiter gravity day, and everything I touched felt like V-Impossible.  But, then Wednesday came around... and the gravitational pull of the Earth changed to that of Mercury.  I sent one of my projects; one of the over-hanging, big move boulder problems I have been working for months.  Even the new projects I was working felt good.  Everything just flowed... and I am beginning to think that I have made it 'back to climbing' and may need to change the name of these posts.

On Saturday, John, the Kid, and I watched some of our old climbing videos from 2004.  That was fun, and I may have to put some up here, so you can get a good laugh.  So check back, follow this blog, and see where we take you.

    

Adventures of The Family Bed: Part 1

So, something new happened last night in the family bed.  The Kid woke up for about two hours.  This never has happened.  I am not saying that he 'sleeps through the night', far from it; he only wakes to nurse then goes right back to dreamland.  Did I mention that he laughs in his sleep?  No, well it is not pertinent to the story, but really super cool...  Anyway, last night he was UP!

If you know me in real life, you know that I have always been a sleeper, and very grouchy if you woke me up.  This has certainly been tamed post-Kid, but I am still not wide-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning, or at night when something wakes me up.  Well, last night the Kid wakes up, probably around 12:30 (we don't have a clock in the bedroom so this is just a guess); he wiggles around, sings to himself, and hangs out for about an hour.  Somehow this didn't irritate me.

Yeah, I know!  What is going on?  You've got this wiggly kid, singing, wedged between you and John in the middle of the night, and awake during prime sleeping time.  Why wasn't I pissy?

Not only was I not pissy, but I was PROUD of the Kid.  He was trying to self-soothe.  For about an hour, he tried to put himself back to sleep.  No crying.  No trying to wake Mom and Da.  No getting out of bed.  Just laying there, learning to self-soothe.

If you are a 'cry it out' person, you are cringing... 'the Kid should have been sleeping in his own bed and should have already learned to self-soothe by a month old... blah blah blah".  So if you are a CIO (cry it outer) you can just stop reading because we just won't see eye to eye, and I won't change your mind and you will never change mine on this issue.  Infants cannot learn to self-soothe by being left alone, in a dark room, in a cage, crying for help.  It causes increases in stress hormones which in turn can damage their developing brain.  Infant mammals do not sleep alone naturally; human or animal.
Dangers of Crying it Out
Crying it out causes brain damage

Back to the original topic... I was proud of the Kid!  He was learning to do what we all do when we can't sleep.  You wait it out and try to get comfortable.  He is 19 months old.  He was safe in bed, not scared, he just couldn't sleep.  When, Daddy got up to go to the bathroom, it was the beginning of the end... the Kid was up, wobbly following Daddy.  They had some water, some snuggles, and after a little longer, we all fell back asleep until the morning.  It is a bit of a milestone, and as I said before... I was proud of the Kid.

All that said... I really hope he doesn't plan on an encore tonight.

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 9: Memory Lane

On Sunday we went bouldering... outside.  I haven't been on real rock in two and a half years, and it was fantastic.

My brother was visiting from Arizona; so John, my brother (aka Unc), the Kid and I went out and bouldered.  There are some excellent boulders here on Long Island.  We went out to Wildwood State Park; there are some terrific boulders both on the beach and on the hillside.

The hillside boulders are one of the first places I ever bouldered outside, and they are loaded with great memories.  When John and I were together during our first summer, we spent the entire summer at this boulder in the evenings after work.  There is a problem on the corner of this mammoth boulder, that I worked, and worked, and worked.  I know I fell off of the opening move at least 500 times; really I am not exaggerating.  We have all been obsessed with something new... we dream about it (while sleeping and awake), spend our time doing it, and feel our spirit grow and soar while we engage in it.  Maybe it is surfing, knitting, gardening... or, in my case, rock climbing.  You know what I am talking about.  Anyway, that summer I worked that opening move over, and over.  We had just gotten a video camera, and John videoed me endlessly, so yes, I have video documenting me, blowing those moves repeatedly.  I felt so happy to be back there, and back on that problem.

John is a badass

Again, this isn't really about rock climbing.  It is about re-connecting with who I was before I was a mom, and who we were pre-Kid.  As John and I walked to the boulder, we told my brother some of the stories and adventures we had there.  We weren't just parents anymore, we were the same people who bouldered out there seven years ago when we first met.  Talking about climbing friends, some are still big parts of our lives, and others who faded away into different lives.  Remembering the other couples who were also just starting their relationships... none of them made it.  

I think it is critical for couples, with or without kids, to go back to those places where they fell in love.  To do those activities that you love as a couple.  To remember why it is that you chose this person as your mate.  Especially as parents, we tend to get bogged down with the mundane day to day stuff in life, and forget to just be joyful and grateful and have fun.

Climbing outside reminded me of two very important things ...

#1.  Real rock is sharp.  Ouch.  Crap it hurt.  But the friction was freakin' fantastic!

#2.  Plastic sucks.

But, alas... I returned to plastic on Wednesday at the gym.  It had been a while, and I climbed like sh*t.  But who cares about the blue problem at the gym... Plastic Sucks!

The Kid had a great day too.

And in case you were wondering, that problem that I worked that summer?  Yeah, I sent it... as a warm up.

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 6

Oh Blah.
I only made it into the rock climbing gym one day this week; Wednesday.
And, no, I also did not work out on the hang board at home.  I did not even Look at it.
The Kid's sitter at the gym couldn't make it on Friday, and that gave me an excuse not to go in a second day this week.
Oh Blah.  That is all I can say.  Even at the gym on Wednesday night, I felt Blah.  I stood there yawning between burns despite Kid Rock screaming through my iPod.  As far as my climbing... well, I am stronger than I was six months ago!  I have never been a strong boulderer, but it is that power that I have always needed to train.  It feels like I am in one of those times when one's climbing is in a holding pattern.  You know, you climb and then you just plateau for a bit, and then suddenly something magical happens and you climb harder.  The optimistic side of me says that I am on a plateau and soon I will be stronger.

All of that aside, going back to the climbing gym has been one of the very best things that I have done for our family.  I know that it has made me a better mom and wife, and engaging in something that I had before I was a mom, makes me a better 'me'.  Talking to people about something other than the Kid, or being a mom, is so freaking fabulous.  It is a reminder that I am still a real person, I am not just this person who is responsible for the care, education, and well-being of a child... I am also responsible for my own well-being.

John and I met at the rock climbing gym, and we have spent countless hours there training and hanging out with our friends.  Watching him climb and giving him sh*t when he blows a move is energizing for us.  Something that we took for granted, is now cherished during those four hours a week at the gym.

When we go to the gym, this wonderful girl comes in to watch the Kid.  She dates one of our friends and also works at the gym, in addition to going to school.  I can't thank her enough for her time with our son.  My heart is just ready to burst when I scan the gym to locate the Kid, and find him with a wrench in hand trying to put up holds.  There are days when he will sit and watch the route setter (who is actually partially responsible for John and me being together, but that is another story), and other days when the Kid is on the move for two solid hours.  It is the perfect situation for us as a family; John and I climb, and the Kid can check in with us whenever he needs to.  Some days he checks in a bunch, and other days I have to go find him... usually hanging out in the office with our friends.  I love it that he has the opportunity to spend time with adults (like early 20's) who aren't parents.

I guess the point is, that maybe it doesn't matter how strong I am right now.  What I am getting out of climbing is so much greater than sending the 'blue problem' in the boulder cave.

Oh, and one last comment.... when I said that I give John sh*t when he blows a move, well, that happens like once a month.    My husband is a really badass climber.

Getting Back to Climbing, Week 3

Saturday: rest day
Sunday, Monday and Tuesday: hang board
Wednesday: Family Gym Night
Thursday: rest day
Friday: Family Gym Night

Yes, I am feeling motivated.  Finally.  Not only did I actually make it to the rock climbing gym twice this week, but I also got on that damn hang board three days.  The weird elbow tendon issue from last Friday night resolved itself in about two days, which is fabulous.
I am trying to find some success and peace with the hang board... I think I am getting closer.  The thing is, I am not strong enough yet to rip through a bunch of pull ups on it, so I need to find focus on another activity up there.  What I decided to work on was my core; core strength was one of my strengths as a climber... before having it blown out while pregnant, and then really damaged with an emergency c-section.  So, I have been doing 'crunches' while on the hang board.  This seems to be a good system for me, it works my grip strength and core.
Last weekend, John set a sweet boulder problem.  Long traverse with a strong slightly overhanging finish.  I worked this on Wednesday night.  As usual, the delicate traverse was easy for me, and the overhang finish with big moves was more challenging.  By the end of the night, I got to the finish hold, but didn't stick it and went crashing down to the pad 15' below me.  The good news is that the flapper I got is almost healed already.  It will go next week.
Friday at the gym was chaos.  A college class was there and two birthday parties.  The cave was crowded and the whole gym was just noisy.  I am not motivated by crowds, or even other people.  When I was still working, before I got pregnant, I went to the gym straight from work.  I would get there by three, when I had the place mostly to myself.  Me and my iPod.  Made it out of there before everyone else came in.  So, the crowded gym on Friday was not my ideal.  I am making progress on the new big move overhanging boulder problems I started to work last week.
It seems like my grip was weak on Friday.  My hands seemed to be pumped out by the end of some of the problems.  I am thinking that it could be from the hang board.  That is a great thing... making me stronger.
Lately, I have been dreaming of Joshua Tree.  Before the Kid winter road trips were to JT, spring was Yosemite, and then all season at the Gunks.  No road trips this year, money is tight... so I am counting the days till the Gunks.  All of my old projects are there waiting for me.